Monday, May 2, 2011

Apprentice and Random News Response

The past couple of shows have caught my attention, yet still feel very out of the loop. I really am trying. Too many people. Too much info. Limited memory space. Uncertain of definite people and actual agenda's and stories. I still have to watch last week's episode again.
I have yet to watch Tron too.
It is great that Bin Laden is dead. I watched so much and then I dozed off. I did catch up on the ending though of today's episode.
I laughed when Trump said it could be taken in so many different ways when Hope got fired.
I really want to talk more about it all. There is some compliment there even though we do not have identical looks, I take it as a compliment to have some comparison for both Hope and Latoya.
As for the rest of the women, there is still confusion. I sometimes see a little of myself in them and don't know if I'm really being systematically exaggerated with or what the agenda is of people I am with. I know it is not completely about me, but am aware that you are probably reaching some people in my world where you can say some things too, but I still feel left out of the loop.
Back to Latoya and Hope. I get some gist of it, but may have a misunderstanding or foggy interpretation of what it is that may be said. When Latoya was brought back in the scene, she had the Audrey Hepburn kind of persona. I take it as a compliment too, but even though there is some pages being read and acknowledgements made, I'm not quite sure we really are on the same page.
I definitely feel less demonized.
I definitely have felt demonized and wrongly accused before with the way some people have looked at me.
I wonder if some stars and actors really take themselves as a serious structured symbol or if they still personalize themselves?
I can see how her name and profession could be used within the bigger matrix for or against people and how other people could be tested off of her stardom.

I don't take back the 4th amendment.

I really am not out to demonize Latoya or Hope. I think it is possible that other people could see me in Latoya. I did throw a fit about being labeled as "a toy," or not taken seriously. I also cheered Akio Toyada on whenever there were Toyoda recalls. I'm already labeled as bipolar and crazy and have few chances of being taken seriously anyway, so hey, why not have my fit and cheer Akio on?
Have a mudpie:

mud pie Pictures, Images and Photos

I still do complain about the unfairness of it all when it comes to honesty, being taken seriously, and crime and punishment.
So, whether I suffer more cruel and unusual punishment or not, it is a great time to take advantage of my bipolar label.

Back to the subject.
I still don't know how I am ultimately labeled or viewed.
Through my independent jungle woman time, I still am pretty difficult to deal with. Sometimes, it still depends where I am, or I internally change my rules altogether if someone ever were to catch up in conversation one day to see what's happening.
Before, I really did not mind having female friends. I thought it was ok and normal. I really have had talk and debates literally about talking and friendships and relationships. One guy is hardcore into believing there is no such thing as women being friends. I can see that now.
I think it could be possible of me having distant friendships, but to ever be close or best friends with anyone again, no. After my life experiences, it just doesn't seem possible.
So, for Latoya to buddy up and teaming up with the guys, I could see myself as being that way. If I break someone else's rules of dating scene, groupology, friendships, I don't care. I still love my independence that much.
I did think Lil Jon was pretty fun in this episode. I don't know if he is connected to Jon Stewart though. If so, there are no shares in my book.
......Sticking with the subject. I don't know if there is being more asked, or if I should be expected to say more about the subject of workplace ethics.
Even in my own work experiences, even though I have not dated a coworker at places, I still sometimes feel interrupted through socialism in the workplace.
I don't really redirect it back at the fact that this is a small town.
I would rather keep bickering and say I see organized crime and corrupt socialism where I feel I can never win.
It is when I voice my opinion and make my own judgement, that there is a competition of judgement where I feel I am being demonized and accused of the "Hooker," label even though there is nothing to back it up and I know for myself that it is a lie.
Literally, none of the Trumps demonized her. She is seen as a playmate and there is a difference between playmates and hookers. I see it as being payed as an exhibitionist in the X-Rated world, even though there is no said literal sex going on.
They simply fired her, and there was no serious drama and she walked away.
In my own personal view, I don't think she should be doomed for life for a profession she chose in a period of her life. I'm a little worn out with all of the political talk and it is for her to worry about.
As for Latoya? I see a different perspective, but still confusion and no clear answer. She really doesn't have the reputation of a strip model that I'm aware of: she's known in the Jackson family. I still feel though, if I am being questioned personally, someone is either begging the question or there is some sort of hidden agenda that I don't get yet. Or there is some hidden drama and avoidance. Maybe there is a promotion or encouragement for other people that there is nothing wrong with being a modern day Audrey Hepburn. Maybe the Trump family wants to say old fashioned people or some sort of innocence about them should not have to die or be ignored. Maybe they should be appreciated still and that "getting with the times," is not taken so literally and that some aspects and parts of history is not wrong to repeat.
I don't know.
I'm brainstorming out loud.
As for Chuck, I'm getting confused with Chuck's character. There are several men who could be connected with him. The name Levi, I feel in my down to earth world there should be a specific person I should know, but I don't know him. I have heard the name before in high school, but I question if that is the specific person and I don't even know him or know what I should know of him. Lately, I feel more people in my literal down to earth world in my past high school life are some how involved with me and I can't see the clear picture.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Definitely humorous

Gary reminds me of my pappy. There is another town Gary that I've had a time with and he could be having a hate for me to say that he's my grandpa and giving me the middle finger. If my translation is accurate or not, I don't know, but I do know that I really do not like his sacreligious comments. Oh well.
Speaking of remarks, it does seem typical victimization games are going on. Among the women its more belittlement than specific problems. But, I guess maturity and even a personality can be a problem, but I've never liked socialism, have I? So, because of my dislike of socialism, I usually avoid criticizing another's personality. I think I may eventually be tried and tested over being a hypocrit over the issue of socialism. If I can try to be sophisticatingly strict at anything, I think its something I could try to stick to. But, my other complication of reasonable balance is there too. After that, it gets into more victimization of who the top dog will be to set the stage. ..................

I couldn't help but laugh at David. I don't completely understand my sister's and his chemistry. I really don't want to know it all, but I laughed when he called her his daughter.

As for Richard I see another connection with him. I think I'll be vague with this one because I can be selectively secretive. I don't want to be read the wrong way with sexuality either. I'm really wondering how this whole season of the apprentice is going to go. This will be an interesting watch. I think Jordan could be there too. I was friends with her cat one time, and it got really confusing. I'd call her a friend anyway, despite so many other reasons of women to be jealous with Dane. I have learned its difficult or impossible to be friends with someone who shares the same love interest.

I think Dane has already ran away already today anyway. Yeah, he goes AWOL on me all the time. No, I don't officially have him. I'm jealous, but in a sense of my suspicion I'm not taking it too personally, and it isn't a racist hate that I have against her. I really do blame the man. Life gets so twisted its impossible to say anything, call shots, or even try to let go during times I want to let go. Life is simply too twisted. Heartbreakingly twisted.
I won't take orders from her either. I don't know if he's my Delilah for life and its something I have to continuously deal and learn with.

I see some obviousness of another man I may have in my life right now. He could possibly be playing a game with me and another woman. There is a quietness that I can't yet explain. I can't recall everything. I feel there is a story that has not been completely read or comprehended.

I'll be the next: "As the Sarah Turns." Maybe I am getting set up for another wild karma game where everybody will be one with everybody in the end. I really don't know. I just hate that my life feels set up to say I'm no different.
Some are lighter and would compare it to a show the Bachelor or Bachelorette, of course the reality show is never real, but its fun to play with the idea. I simply feel uncomfortable when its not in my control; I'm clueless to who orchestrates it; I don't know what could be waiting for me; and I don't really like the way some surprises are. No wonder I ruin a lot of things.

But, back in relation to the Apprentice, I'm looking forward and wondering how this season will go.